


it's a long way down

by kiyala



Category: DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Noir, Community: angst_bingo, Detectives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing a lot of people seem to forget is that Jason used to be one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's a long way down

**Author's Note:**

> written for the angst bingo prompt "outsiders"

The thing a lot of people seem to forget is that Jason used to be one of them. Before he decided that he was sick of dancing to someone else’s tune, he was up there with the rest of them, learning everything Bruce had to teach.

Tim never forgets. Nobody at the office forgets, with the empty chair that still sits at the table with the rest of them. They’re all family, brought together under Bruce’s guidance, held together by the insatiable desire for justice. Losing Jason was like losing a brother, but worse. 

For Tim, losing Jason was like discovering that the solid ground beneath him was actually the edge of a cliff. Realising that if Jason could fall, Tim could too.

He’s not like Dick, confident and comfortable with who he is. Forever Bruce’s favourite, even if that doesn’t mean as much to him as it would to Tim. Dick knows what he’s doing. Tim feels like he’s winging it every step of the way.

The crime scene he’s at has Jason’s signature all over it, painted red in the blood of a grunt who either didn’t have enough information, or didn’t come out with it quickly enough. He knows it’s Jason, because he recognises the method; except that where Tim pulls his punches, Jason brings out his gun. 

There’s a lead here, somewhere. Jason wouldn’t have left a crime scene behind without a _reason_. Tim can almost hear him now: _Open your damn eyes, kid. Look around. Think._

And then things start falling into place. The police are still crowding around the body, writing up reports and talking over each other, and Tim’s walking around the room, picking up clues. Jason leaves him messages in the blood spatter, in the angle of a chair. It’s less of a code and more pure instinct. The police are still getting in each other’s way when Tim slips out the back, taking the fire escape down to the narrow alley on the side. 

“Took your sweet time.”

Tim doesn’t turn to acknowledge the voice. He’s smarter than that. “You left a mess. I couldn’t tell what was intentional and what was just an accident.”

This earns him a quiet snort. “Please.”

Everything’s intentional. Tim knows that. It’s the way he works, too. The fact that he shares this trait with Jason scares him a little, but never enough to stop.

“I’ll talk to you later tonight.”

Tim doesn’t reply, because he knows that Jason’s already gone. It doesn’t matter. There’s work to be done.

Jason’s waiting in Tim’s room hours later, when the sun is down and he finally gets home. He’s lounging on Tim’s bed, back against the wall, gun lying ready on the mattress. 

“Get that out of my sight,” Tim mutters, taking his coat off and hanging it in his closet. 

“You need to say it with more conviction if you wanna sound like Bruce,” Jason replies, leaving it where it lies as he gets to his feet. He’s behind Tim as the closet door clicks shut, strong arms up on either side of him. Like Tim is a little bird to be caged in. Jason nudges him until he turns around, until they’re looking at each other and Tim hates that he’s so short, that it always feels like Jason’s looming over him. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be like him. To _be_ him.”

“You don’t know a thing about what I want.”

“Oh, but I do.” Jason stinks of cigarette smoke. Of gun powder, and blood. “All you want is to fit in, to _belong_. You’re burning with it, and it’s going to burn right through your heart, right through your _soul_ until there’s nothing left. Trust me, kid. I know. It’s what happened to me.”

“You went too far,” Tim says between clenched teeth. “We have limits, and you broke them. That’s why Bruce will mourn you, but he won’t let you come back.”

“If he mourns, it’s because he knows I’m never coming back,” Jason sneers. “And you think that’s the difference between us? Does Bruce know that you see me? Do you tell him about my little visits?”

Tim keeps his mouth firmly shut, and Jason smirks. 

“Exactly. One day, this won’t be enough for you either. You’ll get sick of not getting the answers you need. All you need to do is pick up a gun, aim it at their heads. Aim it at their wives. You’ll be amazed.”

Tim shudders, shaking his head. 

“You’ll fall one day,” Jason murmurs, his breath hot against Tim’s ear. “And I’m going to be right here, waiting to show you how the real world actually works.”

Tim pulls away from Jason, his heart pounding, afraid that he’s right. It’s a long way to fall, and all he needs is a push.

But for now, he says the same thing he does to Jason every other time. 

“No I won’t.”


End file.
